"Even after

all this time

the sun never

says to the

Earth,

You owe me.

Look what

happens with a

love like that

It lights the whole sky

Hafiz



Relationships are loaded with expectations.  This morning after another daily ritual of teenage drama I was overloaded with the heaviness of negative energy.  I expected my daughter to be appreciative, caring, thoughtful and kind instead of complaining, short-sighted and demanding.  All of these expectations were an unwelcome heaviness in my heart and mind.   

With each step on my walk to work I could feel the anger building inside me.  How dare she not meet my expectations of being "good"?  How dare she ruin my day like this?  This isn't what I expected as a parent!  An internal tantrum was ripping into all my fallen visions. 

Then between 110th and 109th street the words of the poet Hafiz filled my mind.  Like my GPS that helps me navigate between point A and point B, the words of this ancient Persian poet helped me find my way to peace. 

The way to find a different way of moving through this moment, this day and ultimately this relationship, was to release the ego's need to receive payment.  She's 15.  She's a teenager.  She's a girl. She was being normal.  So was I being normal to react with anger.  But I don't want to be normal.  It doesn't feel good... at all!   This is why the poem above came into view so clearly.  It was like a 12 foot billboard that said "Love like this"... love without expectation, without demand. 

Ahhhhh.... breath again... yes... this is better... the heaviness is lifting... look up at the sun... it's asking nothing of you yet it still warms your face.  Love like this...

I'm not saying it's ok to accept intentional hurtful behaviour.  However, this situation wasn't that.  What I am experiencing as a parent is not intentional, it's hormones, growing up, rebellion, unknowing.  As much as I demanded of her to "get some perspective!!"  I too needed to hold her in the light of proper perspective. 

How many times do we get twisted up inside ourselves because we miscommunicate, misunderstand or stand with closed eyes to the greater perspective of another?  Precious life is wasted much too often when we do this.... over and over and over again.  A life lived in darkness rather than light.  It's our choice to make.

I calmed myself immediately as the wisdom of Hafiz replaced the stubbornness of my ego.  I connected with my daughter peacefully.  A different day unfolded... beautifully... in light... with love.