i want to unravel the fabric tonight,
the fabric of an ordered life.
i want to ask for a miracle
the miracle is acceptance. acceptance of what is
rather than fighting what "should" be
my mind wrestling my heart into a quandry
knowing
better
craving arms that hold me close
and whisper that all is
ok
even when the threads
are coming undone
i don't want to hear words
hollow gasping pleading
for a pattern
it's time to let the pieces fall
moments of time
released into the
space
of holding on
when it's time
to
let go of you
trusting in the
fabric of the world
knowing there is order
in my soul
even when i can't feel it
this tension a
miracle
wrapping me in
love
i can say good bye
from here
that is the order
my mind was unraveling
itself or so i pretended
but
i know this is in
perfect order
in an ordered world
thanks Kyle for sending me the inspiring quote that helped me create some peace with my choice to not go back to my grandma's funeral this week. i just can't figure out how i can sanely manage it... so i truly need to accept that i can say good bye from here. i want to release my fear of disappointing others by not making the effort the way i "should". love is everywhere... love is believing in the order when i don't see it. love love love... let that be my mantra
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